Tables fill with bodies and beer at an east side bar. A lovely brunette in a darling dress collects cover from people as they enter or sit. Once the seats are filled she takes to the stage. At the mic she proclaims the name of the evening’s event, Say Wha?! (a helpful lesson in pronunciation can be found here) and encourages the audience to shout it out every time a say wha?! worthy moment occurs throughout the evening. She produces a book and begins to read the ridiculous spillage of Jann Arden’s journals, her speculations on the emotional lives of dogs.

“Why can’t people be more like dogs?” she wonders.

And so does the audience. They eat it up. As they should. It’s funny. Say wha?!

Last June actor, writer, host and general gal about town, Sara Bynoe, gathered a group of funny people at Cottage Bistro on Main St. in Vancouver to read from awful books for comedic pleasure. On July 20^th she’ll be celebrating her (belated) one year anniversary of this hilarious event. A popular monthly occurrence, Say Wha?! has participated in both the Vancouver Comedy Festival and the Vancouver International Poetry Festival. Pretty impressive for a one

year old.

The inspiration for Say Wha?! came when she found a trashy romance novel, Dark Avenger, (FYI: the titillating conclusion can be found at the end of this post) in a hostel in Bath and spent the weekend reading it aloud to friends. And they were very amused. “Basically it’s a rape fantasy. The dialogue is atrocious. The plot is ridiculous. I’ve never spent much time reading romance novels and was giddy with guilty pleasure,” Bynoe says. Her friends joined in the quest for rotten writing. “They started finding me terrible books to read after that weekend and that’s when the idea was born.”

Books aren’t really dying. No really. Many people are under the impression that they deserve to be in print. Reality TV celebrities bring their thin bios to bookstores alongside unhelpful self-help books, action movie novelizations and unsexy erotica. Rotten writing is rewarded all the time and Bynoe makes sure it’s mocked.

There’s an art to the appreciation of bad writing. A reader must see the beauty in flashy prose, earnest emotions and useless, uninteresting wisdom. Don’t take it too seriously. Relish the highs of outrageous sex scenes and lows of gaping plot holes. Bynoe encourages all her readers to get into their books, no matter how bad and to prepare funny material to accompany the reading. I was lucky enough to participate in the May edition, with the aforementioned Jann Arden dog-themed reading. In addition to my pick, Francine Pascal’s twin, drama sequel, Sweet Valley Confidential, the audience was treated to a homoerotic, superhero comic, a horrible self-help book, The Silva Mind Control Method, and some non-wisdom from Chuck Norris’ autobiography.

While she hasn’t had time to read anything truly tragic recently, what with her busy schedule of entertaining the masses, Bynoe mentions her love of Dlisted, a celebrity blog written by Michael K. As a daily reader of Dlisted I see the appeal, (the man is a genius of our times) and how it relates to Say Wha?! Michael K doesn’t kiss up to celebrities, he takes them down several notches, much like the readings of celeb books by Bynoe’s readers. Celebrity biographies and novels often make appearances on the Say Wha?! stage for a good reason. Big egos and offensively bad writing (and ghostwriting) make for excellent humour.

Say Wha?! is rousing, curious, bewildering, but most importantly funny. And to enlighten you further, here’s some more of my interview with Say Wha?! creator and host extraordinaire, and all around talented woman, Sara Bynoe:

You also run the fantastic Teen Angst Night. Why do you think you’re so fascinated by bad writing?

I love writing and reading. Teen Angst is more of a community participatory art/comedy event where we can look back on our teenage selves and laugh. Say Wha? is more a comedy event where we take the piss out of published material. I guess, I’m really more interested in what I call ‘verbaim comedy’ – being able to take something that would otherwise be considered awful and looking at its earnestness and finding humour in that. Teen Angst is more personal embarrassment whereas Say Wha?! is public shaming.

What do you think is the difference between bad-writing and so-bad-it’s-good writing? Or is there no difference at all?

That’s tough. I’d have to say it’s in the eye of the beholder. Steve Burgess read from Shantram and there were a few people in the audience who were offended, who thought that novel was quite good. I loved that reading because it’s sparked a little controversy and Steve was so passionate and amusing in his hate for the book.

I know this is like asking which is your favourite child, but do you have a favourite performance or book from the past year of Say Wha?!?

Of all the books I’ve read myself I keep coming back to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s The Day I Shot Cupid : Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m a Love-a-holic which I gave to Morgan Brayton to read for the very first Say Wha?! Nearly every page in that book has a Say Wha?! moment. Then again so does JWOWW’s The Rules. When I did a show in Victoria, Christopher Vickers did a hilarious reading of Jann Arden’s Selected Journals that had me crying. Mostly due to the anger and bitterness in his reading towards the book. My favorite Say Wha?! performances are a blend of an awful book and a brilliant comedic interpretation of it.

(At the May 2011 edition Bynoe copped to loving Vickers’ reading so much that she cribbed the book.)

So many Say Wha?! titles have been written by celebrities. Is there such a thing as a good book written by a celebrity?

Well, I know that Stephen Fry (one of my heroes) and Hugh Laurie have both written award winning novels, although I’ve yet to read them.  I think it depends on how you define celebrity. There are many celebrities who do not have an ounce of talent in any art form, let alone when they cross over into publishing.

Most celebrities that have books and don’t read only publish utter garbage created to make a quick dime (or thousand) and pad their brand with merchandise.

You write, act, host, a whole bag full of tricks, and are a very busy woman, but are there any other monthly events in the city that you love, love, love?

I am busy. I don’t get out too much but when I do I love to check out The Hero Show at the China Cloud – it’s solo comedy and that means anything that’s not stand-up but done by one performer. Ghost Jail is an improv troupe I saw once and loved; wish I could see them again. Paul Anthony’s Talent Time at the Biltmore is a wonderful show that I try to catch every month. I also try to check out Soul Night, because I love dancing, love soul and it brings out a really great mixed crowd.

And since you’re so busy, can you tell us about any upcoming projects we have to look forward to?

Dance Dance Party Party Vancouver will start up on Thursday nights at Mt Pleasant Community Centre on September 15. Only $7 to drop in. I’m on the Rookie League at VTSL. It’s fun and has great performers on it (not just me), on Sunday nights, 7:30, $8. I’m hoping to shoot my short film Sparkle Bunny with Matthew Kowalchuk in the fall, if anyone has money they want to donate to a good, fun cause – a.k.a. a short about an aging candi raver they should contact me. I also have an idea to do a Teen Angst Improv show – stay tuned for that in the fall. Oh, and I’m working on a novel. It’s a quarter-life crisis late coming of age story, if there are any agents/ publishers who want to see it – contact me.

Oy, I’ve really got to stop with the projects already.

On Wednesday July 20, 2011 Say Wha?! celebrates it’s one year anniversary at the Cottage Bistro, 4470 Main Street. You should be there. And for more information on Sara Bynoe, check this out: http://sarabynoe.com/.

Christopher Vickers, Dance Dance Party Party, Matthew Kowalchuk, Michael K, Morgan Brayton, Paul Anthony, Sara Bynoe, Say Wha?!, Steve Burgess, Teen Angst Night Literature